Inspired by a writing prompt in Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge, which asked:
What do you have the freedom, the right, to do that you rarely exercise?
How do you plan to exercise that freedom or use your rights more boldly, less apologetically, in 2018?
In 2018 I intend to exercise the freedom to revel in the timeliness of my life.
The concept of timeliness is a bit different than being on-time. When you’re on-time you’re arriving at an agreed upon time, with the agreement coming from you and something external to you. You agree with your employer that 9AM is the time to arrive at work to be “on-time.” You agree with your date that 7PM is the time you will arrive at your meeting point for your date to be “on-time.” It’s an agreement and in some respects an obligation to uphold, and in a way, binds you to something. It’s an agreement that, if you’re like me, you push to meet, despite whatever might come in the way to delay you.
Being on-time is important but it’s distinct from timeliness, i.e., the quality of occurring at a favorable or useful time. Timeliness, to me, isn’t so much about an agreed upon time, but about the best time for something to occur. And what’s best isn’t strictly decided by parties in an agreement, but takes into account the varying occurrences in life that we can’t anticipate or control. There’s no push to meet a benchmark, but an allowance for things to happen when they must.
I don’t know what’s coming my way at any given moment. Life is not meant to be predictable. But I can rely on the Universe (that is, the higher power, the Source of all things) to be beneficent and supportive of my greatest good. I can rely on the Universe being purposeful in its actions. And in relying on Divine support, I can trust that, in taking action, that things will occur in a manner that is the most favorable or useful to me and everyone else.
Reveling in timeliness means that, even if I think that something should occur by a particular time in my life, I can still operate trusting that what I want to occur will occur when it’s most favorable for it to happen, and have fun in the process. For example, once upon a time I just knew I’d be married by 35, with this age being the age that marriage was supposed to happen for women. Years ago I was in a relationship in which I thought “married at 35” was going to happen, right “on time.” The relationship didn’t work out though, and so I know that married at 35 would not have been “favorable” or “useful” – it would not have been favorable or useful to marry a person not right for me! My current singledom is timely, indeed. And I trust that marriage will happen for me when it’s best for it to happen. In the meantime, I am having fun with my single status, and learning so much about myself along the way.
Reveling in the timeliness of my life’s events is freeing. It’s freed me of an obligation to accomplish benchmarks by a particular year of my life. And being in my thirties, I’m bombarded with messages that I’m supposed to have gained certain things (marriage, children and property among them) by now. When I hold on to the notion that I have not done or gained the things I’m supposed to have done or gained “on-time” I feel disconnected from all that I am; it distracts from the blessings I have and the accomplishments I’ve garnered. Lamenting a life I have not lived constricts me from flourishing in the life I have.
In 2017 I’ve had a few moments of lamenting a life I haven’t lived. In these moments I was looking around at my friends and peers who’ve hit those life benchmarks associated with being in your thirties, and wondered to myself, “why not me?” My lowest moments this year have been moments of solitude, when the weight of this supposed “lateness” crushed my spirit. I’m grateful for the moments that have turned this feeling around, as there were many that have lifted me up. Connecting to the timeliness of my life imbues my experience with gratitude and humility; I am humbled and awed when I consider all that the Universe has gifted me. And reveling means “partying,” after all. I am committed to having fun with what I have.
In 2018 I intend to keep reveling in my life’s timeliness, freeing me to enjoy the way this life is playing out while creating and attracting the good things I seek to create and attract. I am free to enjoy my life while creating my life.
