Baby steps.

  Seth Godin is the man when it comes to the success mindset. I read his blog all the time. In this interview with Marie Forleo he called his blog one of his top five business decisions. His goal is, and mine, is “to be trusted in a way that I can make the change I seek to have happen in the world.” And leaving a trail behind of thoughtful examination of my world will help. If anybody would know what would help bring about the change you seek, Seth Godin would. Another goal I have is to become a better writer. And writers only become better writers through writing. Yesterday I was on my new moon ish, as it was a new moon. A new moon is a great portal for new beginning FYI. And I thought, well, if I start writing every day, starting today, where will I be in a year from today? I thought about this too with some of my more athletic goals. I think it would be dope if I could do a headstand. I also think it’d be hot if I could swing my body around a pole. These things take practice. But what if I started that practice today? If you start taking baby steps towards something today, how far will you be a year from now? Don’t know. But you will be closer to it than you were the year before. So let’s see where I’m at on November 30, 2017. P.S. I woke up this morning, checked Seth’s blog and found this: Plasticity. On point, right? Because this post is about my (and...

When do I get to speak?

In case you were waiting, consider this blog post your permission slip to speak up against whatever you deem to be an injustice. Without going into a deep legal analysis, know that if you live in the United States, you are allowed to express your dissent with the government and its practices, as long as you do so in a manner that does not lead to others being harmed or would tend to incite others to being harmed. An acceptable way to speak up is to protest by action: the kind where you don’t really say anything, but gesture in a way that says it without really saying it. So if you feel the need to protest the American justice system for its failure to provide justice for those facing racial discrimination or police brutality, for example, there is nothing stopping you. As some football players did on September 11, 2016, you can link arms with a bunch of people during a sporting event, raise your hand in the air, or even get on your knee while the National Anthem plays. Anthem protests grow as more NFL players follow Colin Kaepernick’s lead. https://t.co/KajJH6YUVv pic.twitter.com/HZQ24C7Sr5 — ABC News (@ABC) September 12, 2016 Also, it really does not matter what day you choose to speak or act in protest. We do not live in a country where there are days that are off limits for protest. Unfortunately, there are some people, some quite notable in the public eye, who believe that your right to speak out should be curtailed on our national day of mourning, September 11. This is unacceptable. You should be proud...
#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

I’ve been reading a lot of writing by the “body-positive” (or the tryna-be-body-positive) community about what it is to be body positive. I have experience and a perspective on this topic, shaped by the times: When, as a child, I got comments about what I was eating, in comparison to everyone else. When, as a child, I had to justify why I was eating a piece of cake at a birthday party. When I was told that I could not wear red because of my size. When the word “fat” was used in reference to me, with disdain. When I’ve been asked if I thought I needed to lose weight. When I dated him, and him, and him, and they all told me how beautiful I’d be if I lost weight. When people questioned how hard it must have been to be me, in comparison to my skinny mother. When I bought a wedding dress and was told that the empire waisted gown was best, despite the obvious uni-boob. When I eventually bought the slim fitting fit-and-flare gown. When he told me that he wouldn’t marry me until I lost weight. When he told me that his mother told him to never bring home a fat girl. When he cheated. When I read the email he sent to the girl he cheated with, telling her that she needed to lose weight for their relationship to develop. When I determined that if I was not good enough for him to marry as a fat person, then he was not good enough for me, period. When I began using affirmations daily, like, “My...
My dissent to this condition. #blacklivesmatter #getupstandup

My dissent to this condition. #blacklivesmatter #getupstandup

We all matter. We are loved by some, by many. This is a given. But when you live in a world that tells you in so many ways that because of who you are, you don’t matter – not as much as another group – you have to have to have to have to have to insist that you are HERE and you mean as much as anyone else. You matter and you deserve basic respect. You matter. I matter. Black Lives Matter and it HURTS that we are subjected to a system that tries to tell us otherwise. It HURTS so bad that some of my skinfolk say to others, “well, if you only just [whatever] you wouldn’t get into trouble.” If we only were just not hued in blackness and brownness. If we only didn’t intimidate the shit out of some others. If only our might did not pose such a threat to the system of white supremacy in which we live. We’d live. Trayvon would live. Tamir would live. Sandra would live. Alton would live. And if you wonder why Black people celebrate ourselves so much? Why we gotta make statements like “Black Lives Matter” and “Black Girls Rock” and so on? If you truly wonder about these things then you are ignorant to the origin of the country, when we legally were not whole humans, and the legacy this has left us. A legacy where we still, within ourselves, have to make up for being broken down over many generations – a legacy that causes us to have to remind the rest of you too that WE ARE WHOLE DAMN HUMANS AND WE ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT. Also you might be asleep to the direct...
Big or small?

Big or small?

I was just reading this really inspiring piece on Forbes about Nely Galán (gotta check out her book!) and while inspired, it hit me: Why is it that, on the one hand, I keep being told to “Lean In” and “Go Big” in my career, but told in my love life to play it small? As I considered this, I googled “How to Get a Man” and a brief perusal confirmed the message I’ve been getting for all of my life: as a heterosexual single woman, I am supposed to play a game of sorts to “get” a guy. Playing games, manipulation, to me is “small” and frustrating in comparison to leaning in/going “big.” Funny enough, in my perusal of Google results I came across this gem from Cosmopolitan: to get a guy to like me, I should “be busy sometimes.” Thanks Cosmo! Because if I wasn’t a straight single female interested in dating I’d have no reason to pursue a life, right? Right. That piece of (ridiculous!) advice reminded me of so many convos I’ve had with my similarly careered up girlfriends about dating, relationships and our careers. Being high-powered, or even perceived that way, can be an impediment to the development of some relationships. I have friends who have downplayed their careers and successes to “support” their relationship with a guy. I have never felt any pressure to downplay my career, but I’ve encountered men who, when hearing I’m an attorney, get put off. Now I’ve also dated plenty of men who had no issues with my career and its successes; being an attorney can be very attractive to...