Timeliness.

Timeliness.

Inspired by a writing prompt in Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge, which asked: What do you have the freedom, the right, to do that you rarely exercise? How do you plan to exercise that freedom or use your rights more boldly, less apologetically, in 2018? In 2018 I intend to exercise the freedom to revel in the timeliness of my life. The concept of timeliness is a bit different than being on-time. When you’re on-time you’re arriving at an agreed upon time, with the agreement coming from you and something external to you. You agree with your employer that 9AM is the time to arrive at work to be “on-time.” You agree with your date that 7PM is the time you will arrive at your meeting point for your date to be “on-time.” It’s an agreement and in some respects an obligation to uphold, and in a way, binds you to something. It’s an agreement that, if you’re like me, you push to meet, despite whatever might come in the way to delay you. Being on-time is important but it’s distinct from timeliness, i.e., the quality of occurring at a favorable or useful time. Timeliness, to me, isn’t so much about an agreed upon time, but about the best time for something to occur. And what’s best isn’t strictly decided by parties in an agreement, but takes into account the varying occurrences in life that we can’t anticipate or control. There’s no push to meet a benchmark, but an allowance for things to happen when they must.  I don’t know what’s coming my way at any given moment....
Space Expansion.

Space Expansion.

I’ve known about this phenomenon for some time now: the deception of appearance that’s visited on people who don’t have reason to know my chronological age. To these people I appear younger than the thirty-five-year-and-six month-old (almost seven) that I am. And it’s so interesting that when I reveal my age those who think otherwise, that I often get “complimented” for looking like I’ve been here for less time. It’s interesting, but it’s not. I think the first lesson-of-the-world I was taught is that I’m not supposed to take up much space. That’s about physical space – the world would prefer me to be smaller. That’s about my voice – the world would prefer to keep me quiet, or quieter, lest I cause any trouble or have reason to be heard. And as I’ve spent more time taking up space on the planet, the “less” becomes about the time I’ve been here. As I age, I learn the world would prefer me to be here for less time that I’ve been. And maybe I could lose weight. Maybe, just maybe, I could speak softly. Maybe I could not write this, and publish it, and have you read it – so my thoughts don’t take up space in the internet, or in your mind. But the one thing I cannot change is the amount of time I’ve been on the planet. Time spent is time spent and even if I appear younger, I can’t go backwards. Time continues even if we don’t feel it. And with time comes change; even if you don’t do too much we organisms are meant...
Nourishment.

Nourishment.

I’m not sure I’m gonna publish this one, but if you’re reading this and you aren’t me, then you know what I decided to do with it. I haven’t written like this in a while. I write all the time but nothing that’s meant to be written for the sake of my words to be someone else’s focus, to be focused on for the enjoyment of words dancing in the reader’s mind,. These days when I write it’s usually a journal entry – that’s for me. Or to explain some concept, or give advice – that’s usually for the client at my j-o-b. Or to support an image I post on Instagram, that’s for the understanding of why I posted the picture. This morning I got out of bed completely unexcited about the day ahead. I felt not one ounce of enthusiasm for a day that would be a fraction of a career I put my all into, a career  I’m still committed to. I had to accept that, despite my commitment to my career, the way I’m carrying it out is not conducive to my joy. That’s it. During the day I had a conversation with a colleague about a time five years ago, where I made a decision about my career only intending for that decision to support my joy as much as possible. And the result of the decision led to more joy that I would’ve expected from my job at the time. That joyful period’s over, and I’m so grateful that I had it. And talking to my colleague about it reminded me that my intention...
Honest perspective.

Honest perspective.

Honesty is the best policy, but not the easiest. It’s the best because we live in an honest Universe. The Universe is not a liar, and won’t support you in your lies. The Universe functions on truth. When we lie to ourselves and others, the Universe will seek that lie’s correction. So either we let the correction happen through us (that is, we fess up, we confront, we shine a light in the shadows) or the Universe does it for us. The truth comes out, finds a way to be seen, ensures that it won’t be ignored. While being the truth agent isn’t easy, it is easier than having the truth forced upon you, or me, or others. Let yourself be an agent of truth. An agent of the light and keeping things in the light. Not the same thing as telling everyone your business, by the way. No, we don’t really need to know all that you have going on, as “honesty” is not the same thing as “show and tell.” But in the living of your life, as long as you embrace all that is you and your life, you are living honestly. As long as you are living in full expression of your truth (verbal and nonverbal), not in hiding, you are living honestly. And you’ll find when you take this approach that the Universe will respond quicker to your desires. The Universe will show you unprecedented favor, in the way all things show you great favor when you speak their language, when you vibe along their energetic wavelength, when you go in the direction they’re...
Ease v. Easy

Ease v. Easy

There’s a difference between being at ease in a situation and a situation being easy to deal with. Recently I had a conversation with someone talking about “flow” and a situation not “flowing” because of some bumps taking place within situation. Thinking about that conversation just now, it hit me: people often confuse one’s ease in a situation with the situation being easy. Life won’t always be easy. So it stands to reason that endeavors and situations you will be in will present a challenge. That is the way of life, the way of the Universe. But things flowing? That is up to you. Things flowing, and you being at ease, is about how you deal with what comes your way. And of course, when endeavors are not presenting challenges, it’s easy to be at ease. Some would say that the endeavor being easy is when you are in flow. But no, because if the endeavor is consistent with the way of the life, it’s going to present you with a challenge. But you get to decide how you want to deal with the challenge. Do you want to resist the fact that you are being presented with a challenge? Do you try to ignore the challenge? If yes, then you will not be at ease. But if the answers those questions are no, and instead you decide to go with the difficulty, and take it head on… that is ease. Going with the flow means taking on what comes, good and bad. So which are you going for? Ease, or easy? Are you looking to take on things...
Belly love.

Belly love.

It started out as the typical bathroom run. I peed, wiped, and started to pull up my panties. As I went down for my drawers, though, I was aware of the sensation of my hands along my belly, and it felt like my skin relished the touch. It occurred to me that I have not loved and loved-on my belly ever. So I leaned over, grabbed up my super jiggly middle, and gave it a squeeze. While I squeezed my belly I spoke love, joy and peace to it. And then I fixed my clothes, flushed, washed my hands and went on about my day. I left that bathroom feeling a bit warmer in my heart, all because I gave my body some love, intentionally. If I’m going to be body positive, I need to be positive about it all. And positive doesn’t mean “liking” it all, but embracing my entire body for what it is. So now I’m into belly hugs: warm, cuddly and affectionate. Because it deserves as much love as every other celebrated part of my body. And I’m going to embrace it, literally, because it’s a part of the temple that houses my spirit. Someone has to celebrate my body, I figure. And that someone can be me!...
Promises

Promises

  I promise to be more artsy. More colorful and warm. More color-filled and color-effusive. To splatter my paint’s shades as far as possible. I am edgy and prickly and forthright and I promise I’ll stay that way. Color isn’t meant to blunt my edges But it’ll make the wounds I give you bleed prettily, and will distract you from the pain I impart. I do not intend, really, to hurt you or anyone else. I am just aware that I can cause hurt, like you can too. I promise to keep this in mind and d0 what I can to not prick you or cut you deeply. But it’s not avoidable, The bruising that can come from interaction. I can be a crusher, a bull in a china shop but I’ll walk in the shop a bit more gingerly, paint brush, pen and floral tape in hand creating as I mend emoted wounds finding healing in my personal...

Baby steps.

  Seth Godin is the man when it comes to the success mindset. I read his blog all the time. In this interview with Marie Forleo he called his blog one of his top five business decisions. His goal is, and mine, is “to be trusted in a way that I can make the change I seek to have happen in the world.” And leaving a trail behind of thoughtful examination of my world will help. If anybody would know what would help bring about the change you seek, Seth Godin would. Another goal I have is to become a better writer. And writers only become better writers through writing. Yesterday I was on my new moon ish, as it was a new moon. A new moon is a great portal for new beginning FYI. And I thought, well, if I start writing every day, starting today, where will I be in a year from today? I thought about this too with some of my more athletic goals. I think it would be dope if I could do a headstand. I also think it’d be hot if I could swing my body around a pole. These things take practice. But what if I started that practice today? If you start taking baby steps towards something today, how far will you be a year from now? Don’t know. But you will be closer to it than you were the year before. So let’s see where I’m at on November 30, 2017. P.S. I woke up this morning, checked Seth’s blog and found this: Plasticity. On point, right? Because this post is about my (and...

When do I get to speak?

In case you were waiting, consider this blog post your permission slip to speak up against whatever you deem to be an injustice. Without going into a deep legal analysis, know that if you live in the United States, you are allowed to express your dissent with the government and its practices, as long as you do so in a manner that does not lead to others being harmed or would tend to incite others to being harmed. An acceptable way to speak up is to protest by action: the kind where you don’t really say anything, but gesture in a way that says it without really saying it. So if you feel the need to protest the American justice system for its failure to provide justice for those facing racial discrimination or police brutality, for example, there is nothing stopping you. As some football players did on September 11, 2016, you can link arms with a bunch of people during a sporting event, raise your hand in the air, or even get on your knee while the National Anthem plays. Anthem protests grow as more NFL players follow Colin Kaepernick’s lead. https://t.co/KajJH6YUVv pic.twitter.com/HZQ24C7Sr5 — ABC News (@ABC) September 12, 2016 Also, it really does not matter what day you choose to speak or act in protest. We do not live in a country where there are days that are off limits for protest. Unfortunately, there are some people, some quite notable in the public eye, who believe that your right to speak out should be curtailed on our national day of mourning, September 11. This is unacceptable. You should be proud...
#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

I’ve been reading a lot of writing by the “body-positive” (or the tryna-be-body-positive) community about what it is to be body positive. I have experience and a perspective on this topic, shaped by the times: When, as a child, I got comments about what I was eating, in comparison to everyone else. When, as a child, I had to justify why I was eating a piece of cake at a birthday party. When I was told that I could not wear red because of my size. When the word “fat” was used in reference to me, with disdain. When I’ve been asked if I thought I needed to lose weight. When I dated him, and him, and him, and they all told me how beautiful I’d be if I lost weight. When people questioned how hard it must have been to be me, in comparison to my skinny mother. When I bought a wedding dress and was told that the empire waisted gown was best, despite the obvious uni-boob. When I eventually bought the slim fitting fit-and-flare gown. When he told me that he wouldn’t marry me until I lost weight. When he told me that his mother told him to never bring home a fat girl. When he cheated. When I read the email he sent to the girl he cheated with, telling her that she needed to lose weight for their relationship to develop. When I determined that if I was not good enough for him to marry as a fat person, then he was not good enough for me, period. When I began using affirmations daily, like, “My...