Nourishment.

Nourishment.

I’m not sure I’m gonna publish this one, but if you’re reading this and you aren’t me, then you know what I decided to do with it. I haven’t written like this in a while. I write all the time but nothing that’s meant to be written for the sake of my words to be someone else’s focus, to be focused on for the enjoyment of words dancing in the reader’s mind,. These days when I write it’s usually a journal entry – that’s for me. Or to explain some concept, or give advice – that’s usually for the client at my j-o-b. Or to support an image I post on Instagram, that’s for the understanding of why I posted the picture. This morning I got out of bed completely unexcited about the day ahead. I felt not one ounce of enthusiasm for a day that would be a fraction of a career I put my all into, a career  I’m still committed to. I had to accept that, despite my commitment to my career, the way I’m carrying it out is not conducive to my joy. That’s it. During the day I had a conversation with a colleague about a time five years ago, where I made a decision about my career only intending for that decision to support my joy as much as possible. And the result of the decision led to more joy that I would’ve expected from my job at the time. That joyful period’s over, and I’m so grateful that I had it. And talking to my colleague about it reminded me that my intention...
Honest perspective.

Honest perspective.

Honesty is the best policy, but not the easiest. It’s the best because we live in an honest Universe. The Universe is not a liar, and won’t support you in your lies. The Universe functions on truth. When we lie to ourselves and others, the Universe will seek that lie’s correction. So either we let the correction happen through us (that is, we fess up, we confront, we shine a light in the shadows) or the Universe does it for us. The truth comes out, finds a way to be seen, ensures that it won’t be ignored. While being the truth agent isn’t easy, it is easier than having the truth forced upon you, or me, or others. Let yourself be an agent of truth. An agent of the light and keeping things in the light. Not the same thing as telling everyone your business, by the way. No, we don’t really need to know all that you have going on, as “honesty” is not the same thing as “show and tell.” But in the living of your life, as long as you embrace all that is you and your life, you are living honestly. As long as you are living in full expression of your truth (verbal and nonverbal), not in hiding, you are living honestly. And you’ll find when you take this approach that the Universe will respond quicker to your desires. The Universe will show you unprecedented favor, in the way all things show you great favor when you speak their language, when you vibe along their energetic wavelength, when you go in the direction they’re...
Ease v. Easy

Ease v. Easy

There’s a difference between being at ease in a situation and a situation being easy to deal with. Recently I had a conversation with someone talking about “flow” and a situation not “flowing” because of some bumps taking place within situation. Thinking about that conversation just now, it hit me: people often confuse one’s ease in a situation with the situation being easy. Life won’t always be easy. So it stands to reason that endeavors and situations you will be in will present a challenge. That is the way of life, the way of the Universe. But things flowing? That is up to you. Things flowing, and you being at ease, is about how you deal with what comes your way. And of course, when endeavors are not presenting challenges, it’s easy to be at ease. Some would say that the endeavor being easy is when you are in flow. But no, because if the endeavor is consistent with the way of the life, it’s going to present you with a challenge. But you get to decide how you want to deal with the challenge. Do you want to resist the fact that you are being presented with a challenge? Do you try to ignore the challenge? If yes, then you will not be at ease. But if the answers those questions are no, and instead you decide to go with the difficulty, and take it head on… that is ease. Going with the flow means taking on what comes, good and bad. So which are you going for? Ease, or easy? Are you looking to take on things...
Belly love.

Belly love.

It started out as the typical bathroom run. I peed, wiped, and started to pull up my panties. As I went down for my drawers, though, I was aware of the sensation of my hands along my belly, and it felt like my skin relished the touch. It occurred to me that I have not loved and loved-on my belly ever. So I leaned over, grabbed up my super jiggly middle, and gave it a squeeze. While I squeezed my belly I spoke love, joy and peace to it. And then I fixed my clothes, flushed, washed my hands and went on about my day. I left that bathroom feeling a bit warmer in my heart, all because I gave my body some love, intentionally. If I’m going to be body positive, I need to be positive about it all. And positive doesn’t mean “liking” it all, but embracing my entire body for what it is. So now I’m into belly hugs: warm, cuddly and affectionate. Because it deserves as much love as every other celebrated part of my body. And I’m going to embrace it, literally, because it’s a part of the temple that houses my spirit. Someone has to celebrate my body, I figure. And that someone can be me!...
Promises

Promises

  I promise to be more artsy. More colorful and warm. More color-filled and color-effusive. To splatter my paint’s shades as far as possible. I am edgy and prickly and forthright and I promise I’ll stay that way. Color isn’t meant to blunt my edges But it’ll make the wounds I give you bleed prettily, and will distract you from the pain I impart. I do not intend, really, to hurt you or anyone else. I am just aware that I can cause hurt, like you can too. I promise to keep this in mind and d0 what I can to not prick you or cut you deeply. But it’s not avoidable, The bruising that can come from interaction. I can be a crusher, a bull in a china shop but I’ll walk in the shop a bit more gingerly, paint brush, pen and floral tape in hand creating as I mend emoted wounds finding healing in my personal...

Baby steps.

  Seth Godin is the man when it comes to the success mindset. I read his blog all the time. In this interview with Marie Forleo he called his blog one of his top five business decisions. His goal is, and mine, is “to be trusted in a way that I can make the change I seek to have happen in the world.” And leaving a trail behind of thoughtful examination of my world will help. If anybody would know what would help bring about the change you seek, Seth Godin would. Another goal I have is to become a better writer. And writers only become better writers through writing. Yesterday I was on my new moon ish, as it was a new moon. A new moon is a great portal for new beginning FYI. And I thought, well, if I start writing every day, starting today, where will I be in a year from today? I thought about this too with some of my more athletic goals. I think it would be dope if I could do a headstand. I also think it’d be hot if I could swing my body around a pole. These things take practice. But what if I started that practice today? If you start taking baby steps towards something today, how far will you be a year from now? Don’t know. But you will be closer to it than you were the year before. So let’s see where I’m at on November 30, 2017. P.S. I woke up this morning, checked Seth’s blog and found this: Plasticity. On point, right? Because this post is about my (and...

When do I get to speak?

In case you were waiting, consider this blog post your permission slip to speak up against whatever you deem to be an injustice. Without going into a deep legal analysis, know that if you live in the United States, you are allowed to express your dissent with the government and its practices, as long as you do so in a manner that does not lead to others being harmed or would tend to incite others to being harmed. An acceptable way to speak up is to protest by action: the kind where you don’t really say anything, but gesture in a way that says it without really saying it. So if you feel the need to protest the American justice system for its failure to provide justice for those facing racial discrimination or police brutality, for example, there is nothing stopping you. As some football players did on September 11, 2016, you can link arms with a bunch of people during a sporting event, raise your hand in the air, or even get on your knee while the National Anthem plays. Anthem protests grow as more NFL players follow Colin Kaepernick’s lead. https://t.co/KajJH6YUVv pic.twitter.com/HZQ24C7Sr5 — ABC News (@ABC) September 12, 2016 Also, it really does not matter what day you choose to speak or act in protest. We do not live in a country where there are days that are off limits for protest. Unfortunately, there are some people, some quite notable in the public eye, who believe that your right to speak out should be curtailed on our national day of mourning, September 11. This is unacceptable. You should be proud...
#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

#BodyPositivity, In My Opinion

I’ve been reading a lot of writing by the “body-positive” (or the tryna-be-body-positive) community about what it is to be body positive. I have experience and a perspective on this topic, shaped by the times: When, as a child, I got comments about what I was eating, in comparison to everyone else. When, as a child, I had to justify why I was eating a piece of cake at a birthday party. When I was told that I could not wear red because of my size. When the word “fat” was used in reference to me, with disdain. When I’ve been asked if I thought I needed to lose weight. When I dated him, and him, and him, and they all told me how beautiful I’d be if I lost weight. When people questioned how hard it must have been to be me, in comparison to my skinny mother. When I bought a wedding dress and was told that the empire waisted gown was best, despite the obvious uni-boob. When I eventually bought the slim fitting fit-and-flare gown. When he told me that he wouldn’t marry me until I lost weight. When he told me that his mother told him to never bring home a fat girl. When he cheated. When I read the email he sent to the girl he cheated with, telling her that she needed to lose weight for their relationship to develop. When I determined that if I was not good enough for him to marry as a fat person, then he was not good enough for me, period. When I began using affirmations daily, like, “My...
My dissent to this condition. #blacklivesmatter #getupstandup

My dissent to this condition. #blacklivesmatter #getupstandup

We all matter. We are loved by some, by many. This is a given. But when you live in a world that tells you in so many ways that because of who you are, you don’t matter – not as much as another group – you have to have to have to have to have to insist that you are HERE and you mean as much as anyone else. You matter and you deserve basic respect. You matter. I matter. Black Lives Matter and it HURTS that we are subjected to a system that tries to tell us otherwise. It HURTS so bad that some of my skinfolk say to others, “well, if you only just [whatever] you wouldn’t get into trouble.” If we only were just not hued in blackness and brownness. If we only didn’t intimidate the shit out of some others. If only our might did not pose such a threat to the system of white supremacy in which we live. We’d live. Trayvon would live. Tamir would live. Sandra would live. Alton would live. And if you wonder why Black people celebrate ourselves so much? Why we gotta make statements like “Black Lives Matter” and “Black Girls Rock” and so on? If you truly wonder about these things then you are ignorant to the origin of the country, when we legally were not whole humans, and the legacy this has left us. A legacy where we still, within ourselves, have to make up for being broken down over many generations – a legacy that causes us to have to remind the rest of you too that WE ARE WHOLE DAMN HUMANS AND WE ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT. Also you might be asleep to the direct...
Big or small?

Big or small?

I was just reading this really inspiring piece on Forbes about Nely Galán (gotta check out her book!) and while inspired, it hit me: Why is it that, on the one hand, I keep being told to “Lean In” and “Go Big” in my career, but told in my love life to play it small? As I considered this, I googled “How to Get a Man” and a brief perusal confirmed the message I’ve been getting for all of my life: as a heterosexual single woman, I am supposed to play a game of sorts to “get” a guy. Playing games, manipulation, to me is “small” and frustrating in comparison to leaning in/going “big.” Funny enough, in my perusal of Google results I came across this gem from Cosmopolitan: to get a guy to like me, I should “be busy sometimes.” Thanks Cosmo! Because if I wasn’t a straight single female interested in dating I’d have no reason to pursue a life, right? Right. That piece of (ridiculous!) advice reminded me of so many convos I’ve had with my similarly careered up girlfriends about dating, relationships and our careers. Being high-powered, or even perceived that way, can be an impediment to the development of some relationships. I have friends who have downplayed their careers and successes to “support” their relationship with a guy. I have never felt any pressure to downplay my career, but I’ve encountered men who, when hearing I’m an attorney, get put off. Now I’ve also dated plenty of men who had no issues with my career and its successes; being an attorney can be very attractive to...