by Patricia | Jun 29, 2016 | Career, Dating
I was just reading this really inspiring piece on Forbes about Nely Galán (gotta check out her book!) and while inspired, it hit me: Why is it that, on the one hand, I keep being told to “Lean In” and “Go Big” in my career, but told in my love life to play it small? As I considered this, I googled “How to Get a Man” and a brief perusal confirmed the message I’ve been getting for all of my life: as a heterosexual single woman, I am supposed to play a game of sorts to “get” a guy. Playing games, manipulation, to me is “small” and frustrating in comparison to leaning in/going “big.” Funny enough, in my perusal of Google results I came across this gem from Cosmopolitan: to get a guy to like me, I should “be busy sometimes.” Thanks Cosmo! Because if I wasn’t a straight single female interested in dating I’d have no reason to pursue a life, right? Right. That piece of (ridiculous!) advice reminded me of so many convos I’ve had with my similarly careered up girlfriends about dating, relationships and our careers. Being high-powered, or even perceived that way, can be an impediment to the development of some relationships. I have friends who have downplayed their careers and successes to “support” their relationship with a guy. I have never felt any pressure to downplay my career, but I’ve encountered men who, when hearing I’m an attorney, get put off. Now I’ve also dated plenty of men who had no issues with my career and its successes; being an attorney can be very attractive to...
by Patricia | Jun 21, 2016 | Empowerment
I used to really feel that I was alone in my always-a-fat-girlness. And always-a-fat-girlness isn’t simply about how big I’ve always been. It’s a mindset, more than anything else. And a mindset that’s been set for years and years of messages, at home, in the world, in the media, etc. that the body I occupy was not good enough, and thus, I was not. Please believe me when I tell you that being told constantly that you are not good enough to be simply because you are how you are is a tremendous mind fuck. Add to that being a baby. And then a toddler. And then a young girl. And then a young lady. And then ultimately a thirty-something lady. Compounded over the years, the message has been digested. It has made me who I am. And yes, I get that the messages come from other people’s projections of me – their own insecurities, whatever. Not to be taken personally. I get that. But fuck. And I get that all kinds of people are given the same message, fat or not. I get that too. But this is about me and my shit. And my shit is rooted in the always-a-fat-girlness. In the “oh you’d be so pretty if you lost X lbs”-ness. In the “I won’t marry you unless you’re a size 12”-ness (yes, this was my life at a time). (That last part, by the way, is why I haven’t written or coached in some time. Because I had to let go of him, heal from him, and heal from all the shit that led me...
by Patricia | Dec 31, 2014 | Blog, Empowerment, Featured, Joy
Regardless of how the year went, take stock today of the good you accomplished this year. Tomorrow’s a new year but it is also another new day – a new opportunity to try something you’ve never tried, an opportunity to do something you’ve never done. After taking stock today, start to plan (if you haven’t yet) for your vision of 2015. Thanks for reading, supporting, and sharing what you’ve read here, on Facebook and Instagram. More great things to come in 2015, including support in planning for your 2015 vision!...
by Patricia | Dec 14, 2014 | Blog, Empowerment, Featured
You are worth the effort and the time it takes to do as well as possible in life. In case you aren’t convinced, here are seven reasons why you should undergo the work it takes to change. 1. You’re not satisfied with the current state of your life. If there’s something in your life you aren’t happy with, no one else is more equipped to change that thing but you! Plan and simple in concept, even though not necessarily in execution. 2. You can do better in life for the change. Hopefully, you are looking to change for the better. If you follow through and make needed lifestyle changes, your life will be better overall for the change. 3. You can inspire others to change. People tend to respond very well to images. Whether or not you’re aware, you are already providing an “image” of your life to those around you, and that image can inspire. If you live your life in a way that another person aspires to live, you can inspire their change! Just by doing what it takes to do better, you pave the way for others to do better. 4. Your changes will improve your relationships. The change you need might be in the interest of your relationships. What you do impacts everyone in your life. Working on your progression and expansion individually will impact your relationships. It’ll either help them appreciate you more, or show you the need to let go of those relationships. 5. Change is adventurous! If you’re seeking some adventure, there’s no better way to get that than by embarking on...
by Patricia | Nov 1, 2014 | Blog, Empowerment, Featured, Food, Wellness
Yesterday I had an intense sugar craving. I ate pretty well but my body kept calling for sugar, and I answered with one of these ice cream sandwiches. While eating the sandwich I questioned the purpose of the craving. Although what we crave might not be “necessary,” a craving signals that you’re in need of something. Maybe it’s a nutrient: for example, if you’re a lady, PMSing, and craving chocolate, you might be in need of magnesium (if this happens, try a small serving of raw cashews and see how it does the trick!). But maybe it’s an emotional need. After questioning and eating my ice cream sandwich, I meditated. (Meditation’s a great way to get answers to questions that only lie within. And the answer I got was… I’ve been feeling insecure, and using sugar as a security blanket. Ugh. I remembered the times in my childhood when I experienced actual danger, such as when I got hit by a car at 8 years old. I remember wanting to eat all things sweet after I got home from the hospital (mildly injured but shaken up, by the way). I am sure that the association between sugar and security started way before that, but it was the first time I’m aware of that the sugar craving was INTENSE! Next week will make 24 years since that happened, and to celebrate I think this security blanket should go. Ice cream sandwiches are great, but they do not protect me from experiencing pain or danger. So what’s better than an ice cream sandwich? Faith that the universe supports me. Knowledge that all is well. Belief that, even...
